Thinking about the previous post and having a drink in my hand (OK, on the table beside me…) can lead to some dangerous thoughts. What if our favorite Liberal Democrat was on the receiving end of the questions? Could you imagine what Teddy Kennedy would be asked if he was in Judge Alito’s position? Here’s my take on it:

“Thank you, Mr. Kennedy, for appearing before this inquisition, er, panel to answer questions pertaining to your suitability for sitting on the Supreme Court. As you have already been sworn in, please answer the following questions on your ethical ability & views truthfully and to the best of your ability:

  1. Who was Mary Jo Kopechne?
  2. Were you married at the time you knew Mary Jo Kopechne?
  3. Did you have sexual relations with her as defined either by popular convention or by the Bill Clinton definition?
  4. What happened that night in Chapaquitic?
  5. Were you drinking that night?
  6. Were you drunk?
  7. Why were you driving?
  8. Why did you leave that girl to die in a sinking car?
  9. Why should you not be in a prison for drunken driving & vehicular manslaughter?
  10. Have you ever been under the influence while in a Senate committee or on the Senate floor?
  11. For the record, how many times have you been married?
  12. For the record, have you ever lied, or knowingly stretched the truth in your testimony today or in hearings before any other committee?
  13. Do you have an agenda? If so, what is it?

Thank you, Mr. Kennedy, for invoking your 5th Admendment rights. Please do not call us, we will call you. Please take care in leaving this chamber and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”